I can’t even count how many times I’ve held myself back from doing what I truly wanted, all because of one haunting question: “What will people think?” Honestly, how many of us have sacrificed our dreams, our choices, and even our identities on the altar of “people’s opinions”? When exactly did what “they” think become so important that we built our lives around it? It’s disturbing, isn’t it? Building a life based on perceptions that probably don’t even align with who you really are.

Here’s a little secret: People don’t think about you as much as you think they do. They’re too busy worrying about what others think of them. So yeah, surprise surprise, you’re not the center of everyone’s universe. Fulfill your weird dreams, chase those odd ambitions, because guess what? People will think about you for maybe a day or two (if that), and then they’ll move on to their next distraction. Don’t waste your days stuck in “What if?” mode, worrying about what your friend, your coworker, or your neighbor might think. Spoiler alert: they’re going to think what they’re going to think regardless. You’re not controlling that narrative, so why let it control you?

In my 25 years of existence, I’ve missed so many opportunities just because I was too caught up in “What will people think?” Don’t get me wrong, I’m still unlearning this mindset, but at least now, I’m aware of it. These days, I make an active effort to stop caring about other people’s opinions. For example, I used to love makeup. But did I wear it? No. Why? Because I was worried about what my classmates would think. (Side note: Japanese girls rarely wear extravagant makeup, so I thought I’d stand out like a sore thumb.) Now, when I look back, I think, “Why didn’t I just do it?” Same story with crop tops. I loved them but rarely wore them in my teens because I didn’t think I had the “ideal body” for it. I was afraid other girls would laugh at me. And guess what? Half of those girls probably don’t even remember I exist now. All that worrying, all that self-doubt, and for what?

I’ve also been guilty of being overly respectful to elders, not out of genuine respect, but because I thought they’d judge me if I didn’t. I’d think, “If I’m not respectful, they’ll think I’m a bad person and blame my parents for poor upbringing.” And let’s be real, some of those elders took advantage of my politeness. They’d say unpleasant things, and I’d just smile and change the subject, too shy to speak up. Not anymore. These days, I answer back when needed because I’ve realized something: whether you’re respectful or not, people will still talk about you. Good or bad, they’ll find something to say. So, why stress over it?

If you’re struggling to be yourself, consider this your sign. Be you. Do what you want to do. Let people do their job—which, honestly, is just thinking about themselves (and occasionally you, but only for a hot second). Stop letting imaginary judgment dictate your life. You’ve got dreams to chase, a life to live, and memories to make. Don’t let “What will people think?” become your biggest regret.

Loads of luv,
Hannah