Last year, I went through something incredibly painful and exhausting related to my health. It was one of those things—too private, too controversial (and probably too sensitive for some people). So, I kept it to myself. Even most of my family didn’t know—only a select few who are really close to me. One of them was my closest friend.

Fast forward to my recovery. We finally met up, and I expected a heartfelt check-in—maybe some deep, meaningful conversation about how I was doing. At the very least, a “Hey, how are you feeling now?” You know, basic human decency.

But guess what? She said nothing. Not a word. Not even a hint of curiosity. I sat there, waiting for the moment… but it never came. And let me tell you, I was fuming. Of course, I didn’t say anything—I just let the resentment marinate like a slow-cooked stew.

I convinced myself that she should notice something was wrong. So, I stopped replying to her messages, hoping she’d finally ask what was up. She didn’t. And that made me even madder. I was practically rehearsing the apology she owed me in my head—word for word. Spoiler alert: it never came.

Then, one day, I don’t know what came over me—wisdom? A rare moment of maturity? Temporary possession by a therapist? Who knows. But I picked up my phone, texted her, and spilled everything—how hurt I was, how mad I had been, and how I expected her to read my mind like some kind of emotional psychic.

Her response? Complete shock. She had no idea I was upset. None. Zero. Zilch. And suddenly, I realized… maybe I should’ve just told her how I felt instead of playing the “guess why I’m mad” game.

So, we talked. We cleared things up. And now? We’re good.

The moral of the story? Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. Communication, on the other hand, works wonders.

 Let’s be real—resentment is like that unwanted guest who shows up uninvited and overstays their welcome. We’ve all been there, feeling that simmering frustration toward someone for what they did (or didn’t do). It can sneak up on you, leaving you emotionally drained and stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. In this post, I’ll share 5 signs you might be resenting someone, why we feel resentment, and most importantly, how to let it go (without exploding). Trust me, it’s better to clear the air than let resentment build like a ticking time bomb.

5 Signs You’re Resenting Someone

1. You’re Constantly Thinking About Them
   When they’ve done something to upset you, but you can’t seem to stop thinking about it? That’s resentment taking hold. If your brain is running endless replays of their mistakes or your hurt feelings, it’s a sign that you’re emotionally stuck. Try not to let them live rent-free in your mind!
2. You’re Avoiding Them or Being Emotionally Distant
   If you’re actively dodging texts, calls, or in-person meetups, it’s probably because your resentment has made you emotionally unavailable. You might not even realize you’re doing it, but deep down, you’re sending the “stay away” signal. If that’s happening, it’s time for some introspection.
3. You’re Engaging in Passive-Aggressive Behavior
   Oh, the classic passive-aggressive move—sarcastic comments, eye rolls, or dropping hints instead of addressing the problem directly. If you find yourself acting out in subtle ways to show your displeasure, guess what? You’re holding onto resentment. It’s not pretty, but it’s common.
4. You’re Holding onto Unresolved Conflict
   If you’ve had an argument or disagreement with someone, but the issue is still lingering in your mind, this unresolved conflict is fertile ground for resentment. The more you avoid dealing with it, the more resentment grows. It’s like trying to ignore a dirty dish in the sink until it becomes a whole stack.
5. You’re Overreacting to Minor Issues
   The little things they do suddenly start feeling like huge deals. Maybe they didn’t return your text on time, and you’re ready to go full drama mode. If minor annoyances are triggering disproportionate reactions, it’s a sure sign of resentment brewing.

What is Resentment?

Resentment is a complex emotion that stems from a sense of unfair treatment, disappointment, or anger. It can develop when we feel mistreated, ignored, or hurt by someone, and especially when we feel powerless to address it. Unlike anger, which is often a reaction in the moment, resentment sneaks in slowly over time and tends to linger—making it even more dangerous. It’s like a bruise that never heals, turning into emotional baggage.

Why Do We Resent?

• Unmet Expectations: When we expect others to act in a certain way (hello, mind-reading!), and they don’t, it stings.
• Lack of Communication: If you don’t express your needs, the other person may have no idea they’ve hurt you. Cue the slow-burn resentment.
• Inequality in Relationships: When one person feels they’re putting more into a relationship than the other, resentment can easily creep in. It’s like always bringing snacks to the picnic and never getting offered a bite.

How to Let Go of Resentment

Resentment is like that toxic friend who only brings drama into your life. The sooner you kick it out, the better. But how? It’s not easy, but here are some things that might help (trust me, they helped me).

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
   First, stop ignoring those feelings of resentment. Understand where they’re coming from and why you’re holding onto them. Reflection can be done through journaling, meditation, or talking with a friend who won’t judge you for being mad at someone for a whole year.
2. Communicate Openly and Honestly
   Resentment often comes from unspoken frustration. If possible, have an open, calm conversation with the person. Express your feelings without blaming them. You’ll be surprised how much better you’ll feel just letting it all out.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
   Sometimes resentment builds because boundaries aren’t respected. Setting clear boundaries is key to maintaining healthy relationships. It’s okay to say “no” or ask for what you need—no one can read your mind!
4. Practice Forgiveness
   Forgiving doesn’t mean excusing the behavior. It means releasing the emotional grip resentment has on you. Once you forgive, you free yourself from its hold, even if you choose not to continue the relationship. It’s like getting rid of a bad habit—it takes time, but it’s worth it.
5. Seek Support if Needed
   Sometimes resentment gets so big that it feels impossible to let go of. If that’s the case, talking to a counselor or therapist can help you work through your feelings in a healthy way. It’s okay to ask for help when you’re stuck in the resentment trap.

So, if you’ve ever struggled with resentment, you’re not alone. It’s part of being human. The key is learning how to handle it before it spirals out of control.

Have you ever struggled with resentment? How do you cope with it? Comment below or message me on Instagram, and share your thoughts! I would love to know what you all think.

loads of Luv

Hannah